UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient knows every piece of Twitter drama from the past 48 hours. Cannot name a neighbor. Has opinions on users they have never heard speak.
Permanent. Touch-grass prescription refused on principle.
None. A weekend offline has been attempted and posted about.
Patients with Terminal Chronically-Online Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Chronically-Online Disorder is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Internetus saturatio absoluta — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.