UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is aware the feed is making them miserable. Has articulated this aloud. Has then continued scrolling for 97 minutes.
Irreversible. Battery life is the only brake.
Untreatable. Digital detox lasts 11 hours on average.
Patients with Severe Doomscroll Paralysis typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Severe Doomscroll Paralysis present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Catastrophicus screenus infinitus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.