UNTREATABLE.COM
Friend introduces you to their new, better friend and then leaves early. Has been seen at events patient was not invited to, posting stories with shared language.
Will outgrow patient by fall.
None. The friendship has a use-by date.
Patients with Severe Social-Climber Friendship typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Severe Social-Climber Friendship present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Ascensor socialis amicitia, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.