UNTREATABLE.COM
Friend smiles through clenched teeth at any good news. Immediately redirects conversation to their own, lesser problem. Has not liked a post of yours in eight months.
Worsens with every promotion.
None. The smile is doing its best.
Patients with Severe Fake-Happy-For-You Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Severe Fake-Happy-For-You Syndrome present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Congratulatio gritta dentibus, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.