UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been making Bento-style lunches with three compartments, a theme, and a hand-cut-cheese animal for their kindergartener. The child trades it daily for a Lunchable. Patient has discovered this via a classroom photo posted by another parent. The Lunchable mom's kid is not eating the bento. Patient now has feelings.
Chronic. Deteriorates each Sunday night.
None. The cheese animal will be smaller next week, out of spite.
Patients with Severe Lunchbox Curation Crisis typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Lunchbox Curation Crisis is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Capsa prandialis competitiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.