UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient considered themselves a 'crunchy mom' — cloth diapers, baby-led weaning, co-sleeping. Then their 18-month-old got a wicked ear infection and antibiotics resolved it in 48 hours. Patient has now ordered formula, a sound machine, and Tylenol in bulk. Has, quietly, joined a silky-mom subreddit. The sling is still in use. The identity, apparently, is on a spectrum.
Chronic. Oscillates between poles.
None. Calling themselves 'scrunchy' has not resolved the dissonance.
Patients with Severe 'Crunchy vs Silky' Identity Crisis typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe 'Crunchy vs Silky' Identity Crisis is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Conflictus stylorum parentalis — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.