UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient let their 8-month-old cry for seven minutes as part of a sleep training protocol. Has been haunted by those seven minutes for fourteen weeks. Has googled 'does sleep training cause long term damage' at 11:47 PM. Has joined two Facebook groups that describe the practice as child abuse and two that describe it as essential. The baby sleeps 12 hours now.
Chronic. Activates each time baby sneezes.
None. Both Facebook groups are right, apparently.
Patients with Advanced Sleep Training Guilt Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Advanced Sleep Training Guilt Spiral present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Culpa somni training eterna, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.