UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient quits Call of Duty every July, after a frustrating match, with a full speech about how 'the game has changed.' By November — specifically, the week of the new release — patient has pre-ordered, installed, and played 14 hours in the first weekend. Has done this seven consecutive years. The speech about quitting, in July, will be delivered again. The November return will follow.
Chronic. The seven-year cycle shows no signs of interruption.
None. The new release is, apparently, 'different this time.'
Patients with Severe Call-of-Duty Seasonal Relapse typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Call-of-Duty Seasonal Relapse belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Redditio bellica hibernalis, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.