UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is attending a Zoom meeting, a work-from-home client call, or a catch-up with an old friend on FaceTime. From the waist up, patient is wearing a silk blouse, full makeup, and a necklace. From the waist down, patient is wearing the oldest, softest, most threadbare pair of sweatpants in the drawer. Has not worn the full outfit, top and bottom together, in 11 months. Does not intend to.
Chronic. The camera does not, apparently, pan down.
None. Pants are, in this era, optional.
Patients with Pathological Sweatpants-With-Fancy-Top Hybrid typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Pathological Sweatpants-With-Fancy-Top Hybrid — a pathological condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Inferior torporis, superior ceremonialis. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.