UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is 'sittervising' their 2-year-old from the couch while scrolling Instagram. The child has, in the last 4 minutes, unrolled the toilet paper, eaten a dry noodle off the floor, and identified an outlet. Patient notices each incident approximately 11 seconds after it occurs. Guilt arrives on a delay.
Chronic. Deteriorates on weekends with no outside adults.
None. The Instagram reel was, apparently, important.
Patients with Pathological Sittervising Guilt typically present with some or all of the following:
Pathological Sittervising Guilt was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Custodia somnolenta culpa — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.