UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's 3-year-old has gone fully horizontal in the Target checkout line because patient said no to a pack of gum. Child's shoes have come off, somehow. Patient is crouched, voice calm, mind screaming. A 68-year-old woman has offered a knowing smile. A man in gym clothes has not. The gum is $1.79. The decision has become existential.
Chronic. Target remains, somehow, the primary venue.
None. Buying the gum is a door the patient cannot open.
Patients with Chronic Target Toddler Meltdown Paralysis typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Target Toddler Meltdown Paralysis belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Horror publicus parvuli, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.