UNTREATABLE.COM
Condition File

Pathological Pull-Door Pushing

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
PATHOLOGICAL
Diagnosis
Pathological Pull-Door Pushing
Ianua falsa impulsio publica
Clinical description

Patient approached the coffee-shop door, read the word PULL, and pushed it anyway. Pushed it a second time. Pushed it a third time with more force. Three people inside watched. The word PULL was written in 72-point font at eye level. Patient has, at this point, fully committed to the push, and will not switch strategies until humiliation is complete.

Prognosis

Chronic. The word is read and simultaneously not processed.

Recommended treatment

None. Each new door is a fresh test patient will fail.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Pathological Pull-Door Pushing typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Patients diagnosed with Pathological Pull-Door Pushing present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.

The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Ianua falsa impulsio publica, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.

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