UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient does fasted cardio every morning at 5:14 AM based on a Reddit thread from 2019. Has not eaten before a workout in three years. Has nearly passed out twice. Insists it 'torches fat.' Recent studies suggest it doesn't. Patient has read those studies and concluded the authors are wrong.
Chronic. The conviction is evidence-resistant.
None. The Reddit thread, apparently, is canon.
Patients with Pathological 'Fasted Cardio' Zealotry typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Pathological 'Fasted Cardio' Zealotry present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Cardio jejunus doctrinale, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.