UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient starts their drive at a reasonable volume and, over 22 minutes, has slowly increased the dial to levels that can be heard by pedestrians three blocks away. The windows are now vibrating. The bass is now a chiropractic event. Patient has not noticed the escalation. The song is by Drake.
Chronic. Volume creep unmeasured.
None. The AUX volume also gets turned up, somehow.
Patients with Pathological Car-Music Volume Escalation typically present with some or all of the following:
Pathological Car-Music Volume Escalation is a pathological behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Volumen sonitus crescendo continuo — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.