UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient gave $1 for the first lost tooth five years ago. Current rate, as of last Tuesday, is $12. Has now been told by other parents that they give $5. Cannot walk the rate back without tears. Has researched a gradual 'tooth fairy austerity program.' The next tooth is loose. Patient is bracing.
Chronic. Inflation rate exceeds federal funds.
Untreatable. Any reduction will be detected immediately.
Patients with Chronic Tooth Fairy Inflation Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Tooth Fairy Inflation Spiral belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Inflatio fati dentis, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.