UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has a seven-day-old infant and has not slept more than 90 consecutive minutes in six days. Cannot remember whether they last ate at 11 AM or 11 PM. Has cried during a Frito-Lay commercial. Has cried because their partner pronounced 'chicken' incorrectly. Has laughed, immediately after, at nothing. The baby is fine. Patient is not sure what they are.
Chronic. Typically resolves around week 6-8, but requires monitoring.
Untreatable at this level. A physician with actual credentials would be more useful than our paperwork.
Patients with Severe Postpartum Fog Spiral typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Postpartum Fog Spiral is a severe behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Caligo post-partum profunda — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.