UNTREATABLE.COM
An overwhelming inability to close browser tabs. Patient maintains 47–312 open tabs 'just in case,' despite not having visited most of them since the previous administration.
Deteriorates rapidly. Terminal browser crash expected within six months.
None. Attempts at tab closure trigger an acute grief response.
Patients with Chronic Tab Hoarding Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Tab Hoarding Disorder is a chronic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Tabulis infinitum compulsiva — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.