UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been a member of the group chat for 14 months and has sent, in that time, four messages. Reads every message. Has opinions about every message. Laughs at jokes alone in their kitchen. Will not respond to anything because the optimal response window has always, somehow, just closed. The chat has, at this point, 2,847 unread.
Chronic. The silence has now become a personality.
None. A catch-up message would require addressing the 14-month gap.
Patients with Chronic Group-Chat Lurking Paralysis typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Group-Chat Lurking Paralysis belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Observatio taciturna sociale, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.