UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has, in the last mom group conversation, found a way to mention that their 11-month-old is 'pulling to stand already' four separate times. Another mom has mentioned her baby can wave. Patient has, silently, begun training their baby to wave. The baby has not waved. It has been three weeks.
Chronic. Every milestone becomes a ranking exercise.
Untreatable. Covert wave-training is now nightly.
Patients with Chronic Competitive Milestone Reporting typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Chronic Competitive Milestone Reporting — a chronic condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Proclamatio progressus superioris. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.