UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is in a three-family carpool for travel soccer. The spreadsheet was clear in September. By November, it is a WhatsApp thread of 47 messages, three apologies, and a swap that was agreed to verbally and then forgotten. Patient is, this week, driving both ways. This was not the deal.
Chronic. The spreadsheet is no longer consulted.
None. An official carpool rebuild has been proposed and ignored.
Patients with Chronic Carpool Scheduling Collapse typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Carpool Scheduling Collapse belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Coniunctio vehicularis dissolutio, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.