UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has interviewed six potential babysitters for a single three-hour date night. Asked all of them for references, CPR certification, and their position on screen time. Selected the one with the strongest CPR credentials. Is now refreshing the Ring camera every 11 minutes from a restaurant. The date is not going well.
Chronic. Every sitter requires full vetting regardless of tenure.
None. The Ring camera is refreshed until arrival home.
Patients with Advanced Sitter-Approval Vetting typically present with some or all of the following:
Advanced Sitter-Approval Vetting was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Investigatio custodis infantis rigida — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.