UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has said 'I can't, I'm saving' to every invitation for six weeks. They are not saving. They have $34 and are waiting for payday on Friday. The invitations have stopped. This was, in a way, the goal.
Chronic. Reverses temporarily on payday. Returns by the 8th.
Untreatable. Honesty ('I'm broke') has been deemed unacceptable.
Patients with Advanced Decline-Everything Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Advanced Decline-Everything Syndrome present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Abnegatio socialis financialis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.