UNTREATABLE.COM
The wifi is down. Three adults are standing in the living room. No one knows what to do. A fourth has unplugged the router and is counting.
Resolves in 12 minutes. Until then, the household rediscovers each other. No one enjoys this.
Unplug. Count to 10. Pray.
Patients with Acute 'The Wifi's Down' Household Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute 'The Wifi's Down' Household Panic was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Interretis absentia panicum familiaris — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.