UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's partner has said 'nothing' three times. Each 'nothing' has a different meaning. None of them mean nothing. Patient is expected to identify which is which.
Terminal. The translation guide is not provided.
No treatment. Asking for clarification is the third wrong answer.
Patients with Acute Nothing-Means-Everything Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Acute Nothing-Means-Everything Syndrome present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Vacuus significativus totalis, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.