UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient got up at 2:14 AM for a glass of water. The kitchen was dark. Patient stepped on a single 2x4 Lego brick. The resulting vocalization woke the baby. It is now 2:19 AM and patient is holding the baby, limping, looking at the Lego brick on the counter as if it owes them a specific apology. The baby is fine. Patient is changed.
Chronic. Each incident teaches nothing.
None. A full toy sweep before bed is, apparently, unsustainable.
Patients with Acute Lego 2AM Trauma typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Lego 2AM Trauma was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Pedis lesio nocturna plastica — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.