UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has arrived at the Chick-fil-A drive-through and has not yet decided what to order. Has been studying the menu for two visible minutes. Finally orders a meal they didn't want because the car behind them is now honking. Regrets it four minutes later. Will repeat this process on Thursday.
Chronic. Pre-ordering at home has been rejected as effort.
Untreatable. The menu has not changed in a decade.
Patients with Acute Drive-Through Order Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Drive-Through Order Panic belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Imperium per fenestram anxietas, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.