UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient yawns with a full three-act vocal score — an inhale, a melodic groan, and a closing 'oh my god' — during their boss's quarterly presentation. Has been observed doing this during a eulogy. The jaw unhinges audibly. Triggers a chain of identical yawns in a four-meter radius.
Chronic. Contagion rate is approximately 74%.
Untreatable. Coffee only provides the energy to yawn more theatrically.
Patients with Terminal Yawning Performance Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Yawning Performance Disorder was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Oscitatio theatralis vocalica — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.