UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient opened registration for summer camps at 9:01 AM on January 3rd. By 9:04, two of the three target weeks were full. Patient is now on four waiting lists and has pivoted to a backup camp that is 40 minutes away with different hours. The child has no opinion. The other mothers have their weeks locked.
Chronic. Intensifies each December.
None. A third backup plan is being mapped.
Patients with Terminal Summer Camp Registration Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Summer Camp Registration Panic is a terminal behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Inscriptio aestiva horror perpetua — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.