UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient lies awake at 3:14 AM reviewing, in chronological order, every socially awkward moment of their life from 1998 onward. Particular emphasis on the wrong name said at a wedding in 2009. Brain refuses to move on. Melatonin watches in silence.
Permanent. Sleep hygiene interventions are openly mocked by the condition itself.
No known cure. Counting sheep now includes a live tally of past mistakes.
Patients with Terminal 3 AM Ceiling Review typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Terminal 3 AM Ceiling Review — a terminal condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Anxietas nocturna totalis. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.