UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient is at a friend's house for dinner. The spoon they were handed looks, by any reasonable measure, clean. Patient has, under the cover of helping with something else at the sink, quietly run it under water and wiped it on a tea towel. The host did not see. Patient thinks. The host absolutely saw. The host will not bring it up. The host will, however, mention it to their spouse later.
Chronic. Activates at every meal outside the patient's own home.
Untreatable. The covert wash is, apparently, non-negotiable.
Patients with Severe Guest-Silverware Stealth Wash typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Guest-Silverware Stealth Wash was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Lavatio hospitalis furtiva — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.