UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient cannot order a menu item as printed. Requests substitutions, omissions, extras, swaps, and 'on the side' modifiers across every order. The server rewrites the order twice. Patient's companion, who ordered a burger and fries, is embarrassed and will order before patient next time specifically to disassociate. The dish arrives wrong 40% of the time. Patient blames the kitchen.
Chronic. No dish has been ordered as-written since 2019.
None. A plain menu item is, apparently, a starting point.
Patients with Pathological Restaurant-Menu Modification typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Pathological Restaurant-Menu Modification present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Reformatio menu gastronomica, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
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