UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient maintains @RaggleTheCorgi, posts three times a week on a strict 11 AM schedule, and has hired a friend to do golden-hour shots on Sundays. Has turned down actual plans to maintain content cadence. Raggle has 14,000 followers. The patient has 280.
Permanent. The account is, at this point, the business.
None. Brand deals are incoming.
Patients with Pathological Pet Instagram Scheduling typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Pathological Pet Instagram Scheduling present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Imago canis publica programmata, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.