UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient texts 'just leaving now' while still brushing their teeth. Texts 'five minutes out' from 18 minutes away. Arrives 34 minutes late to dinner having lied in three separate messages. Has been doing this since 2014. Friends have started telling them 'dinner is at 7' when dinner is at 8.
Chronic. The lies are getting less convincing over time.
Untreatable. Friends have adapted, patient has not.
Patients with Pathological 'I'm Five Minutes Away' Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:
This is the Institute's entry for Pathological 'I'm Five Minutes Away' Disorder — a pathological condition cataloged for archival purposes and shared for patient use. No prescription exists. No intervention has been shown effective. Recognition is the primary benefit of diagnosis.
Formal name: Chronologia falsa perpetua. Not found in the DSM-5 or ICD-11. Found, routinely, in the patient population.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.