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Patient has spent $1,400 on wooden toys, beige play mats, and rattan storage bins to create a 'calm learning environment' for their toddler. The toddler plays, exclusively, with a plastic spoon from the kitchen drawer. The wooden stacker is on Instagram. The spoon is on the floor. The spoon is winning.
Permanent. Aesthetic-to-use ratio is approximately 14:1.
None. The stacker will be passed down, unused.
Patients with Chronic Montessori Aesthetic Compulsion typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Chronic Montessori Aesthetic Compulsion present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Formositas paedagogica vacua, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.