UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient's girlfriend reminds him to take a jacket, eat something, text her mother back, and charge his phone. Patient has been reminded to pack his own carry-on.
Resistance is futile. The reminders have merged with the weather.
Accept the scaffolding. Thank her. She has already scheduled the dentist.
Patients with Chronic Girlfriend-Mothering Resistance typically present with some or all of the following:
Chronic Girlfriend-Mothering Resistance is a chronic behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Infantilisatio partneris resistentia — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.