UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has prepared for a 15-minute parent-teacher conference for 72 consecutive hours. Has three questions written down. Has pre-worried about every subject. The teacher will, in minute two, say 'he's doing great' and patient will have no follow-up and sit in silence for 13 minutes.
Chronic. Each conference is prepared for independently.
None. The 13 silent minutes are inevitable.
Patients with Advanced Parent-Teacher Conference Anxiety typically present with some or all of the following:
Patients diagnosed with Advanced Parent-Teacher Conference Anxiety present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.
The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Horror congregationis pedagogicae, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.