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Condition File

Acute Watch-This Injury Disorder

UNTREATABLE.COM Institute of Incurable Conditions
ACUTE
Diagnosis
Acute Watch-This Injury Disorder
Lesio post-declaratio instantanea
Clinical description

Patient, holding a drink, has just said the words 'watch this.' Within 2 seconds, a physical injury has been sustained. The attempted maneuver was, in retrospect, not possible at patient's current level of athletic conditioning. Nobody was asking. The drink, miraculously, was not spilled. The ankle was.

Prognosis

Chronic. Each 'watch this' is preceded by roughly 30% confidence.

Recommended treatment

None. Has also said 'hold my beer.' The outcome was identical.

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Common symptoms

Patients with Acute Watch-This Injury Disorder typically present with some or all of the following:

What is this?

Patients diagnosed with Acute Watch-This Injury Disorder present with a cluster of recognizable behaviors we have, on reflection, decided to name. The condition is fictional. The behaviors, unfortunately, are not. Someone in your life is showing at least two of them right now.

The Institute's taxonomic entry lists it as Lesio post-declaratio instantanea, a binomial coined in-house and used nowhere in the peer-reviewed literature.

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