UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient claims coffee 'disrupts their nervous system' while drinking 240mg of caffeine from a bamboo whisk. Has opinions on ceremonial grade.
Chronic. Symptoms flare in airports.
None. The bamboo whisk is sacred.
Patients with Acute Matcha Supremacy Complex typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Matcha Supremacy Complex is an acute behavioral condition cataloged by the Institute. It is not recognized by the DSM-5, the ICD-11, or any existing diagnostic framework — and will not be, because it is not a real condition. It is, however, observed in the population with alarming frequency.
In the Institute's formal nomenclature, this condition is catalogued under the Latin binomial Ceremonialis smugus verdus — a name not recognized by any medical authority but observed repeatedly in the catalog.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.