UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has a work meeting at 2 PM and needs to pump at 1:15. Has identified the fourth-floor lactation room, the backup single-user bathroom, and the worst-case-scenario parking lot option. Has packed the pump, two bottles, the cooler bag, the nipple cream, and a backup shirt in case of leaking. The meeting was moved to 1:20.
Chronic. The logistics change daily.
Untreatable. The backup shirt is, apparently, non-negotiable.
Patients with Severe Pumping Logistics Panic typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Pumping Logistics Panic was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Expulsio lactis horror itinerans — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.