UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has been sitting in the school pickup line for 22 minutes pretending to respond to emails so they do not have to make eye contact with the dad from across the street. Has now seen the dad three times and waved with increasing stiffness. Next year, patient is considering changing the pickup time. Or the school.
Chronic. Intensifies each semester.
None. The dad has also waved stiffly. It is mutual.
Patients with Severe Pickup-Line Social Anxiety typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Pickup-Line Social Anxiety belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Anxietas receptionis scholaris, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.