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Patient has two secret Instagram accounts for the express purpose of following their 15-year-old's real account, which they were unfollowed from in 2023. Has liked three posts from the fake accounts and immediately un-liked them. The 15-year-old suspects. The 15-year-old has always suspected.
Chronic. Each platform requires a new burner.
None. The 15-year-old has 'private friends' accounts beyond parent's reach.
Patients with Pathological Teen Social Media Surveillance typically present with some or all of the following:
Pathological Teen Social Media Surveillance belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Observatio tabularis adolescentis occulta, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.