UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient responds to 'what time?' with a 7-minute voice memo. Breathes audibly. Starts three times. Cannot be stopped.
Will only get longer.
None. Recipients are encouraged to flee.
Patients with Catastrophic Voice-Note Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Catastrophic Voice-Note Syndrome was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Vox longa inopportuna — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.