UNTREATABLE.COM
Partner has started taking their phone into the shower. The showers are longer than they used to be. The water is, somehow, not always running.
Hygiene does not appear to have improved.
None. Knocking is considered an invasion.
Patients with Acute Secretive-Shower-Texting Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Acute Secretive-Shower-Texting Syndrome belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Balneum suspicitus communicatus, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.