UNTREATABLE.COM
Dad has held the remote continuously since 2003. Changes the channel during dialogue. Falls asleep, snores, wakes instantly if anyone reaches for the remote.
Permanent. Will be buried with it.
None. Streaming has only given him more ground to defend.
Patients with Terminal Remote-Control Dad Syndrome typically present with some or all of the following:
Terminal Remote-Control Dad Syndrome belongs to the Institute's growing taxonomy of behaviors that real medicine has declined to name. It exists, roughly, at the intersection of internet culture, interpersonal friction, and whatever is happening in the lives of our patients. It is fictional and it is everywhere.
Under its Latin label Paternus televisivus monarchia, the condition appears only in the Institute's own catalog. Real clinicians do not recognize the term. They recognize the behavior.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.