UNTREATABLE.COM
Patient has drunk raw milk, stared at the sun, and worn blue-light glasses indoors. Recently ate a steak tartare 'to fix testosterone.' Testosterone unchanged.
Terminal. The routine now takes 6 hours daily.
Incurable. Cold plunge first, therapy never.
Patients with Severe Wellness Extremism typically present with some or all of the following:
Severe Wellness Extremism was added to the Institute catalog in response to a pattern our clinicians kept seeing. The pattern did not have a real name. This is the real name now. Everything about this entry is made up, except the behavior.
The Institute has assigned this condition the Latin binomial Biohackus absolutus dangerosa — fictional nomenclature for a non-fictional pattern.
Think you have it? Find out what else you might be suffering from at the diagnosis generator. Or browse the full index of afflictions.